Day spent: Mostly in bed.
Best Moment: none today
Tomorrow: Just see if I'm happy so that I can get more painting visions
I had quite a busy weekend, some ups and downs. Firstly I went to the cinema to watch the new James Bond film which quite a good film. Spent most of Saturday in bed because I had nothing to get up for really and I'm really tired at the moment, mainly because of my leaky heart valve I think just hope that one day I get an operation that makes me more awake. Still a loner at the moment. Sunday I went to fetch my lad and visited my nanna. I also got upset and jealous with my brother who is playing two women at the moment. One of them I liked loads and when he tells me it upsets me.. Today Ive been sleeping again which I hope shifts soon.
I'M starting to feel alone with being an artist, no one seems interested in my blog but never mind I'll give it more time. When I go in chat rooms its near impossible to chat about anything creative. I'm all alone in this life and all around me I see happy people who are laughing and enjoying life. I am a reject, even in my dreams I am a cast out, like in today's dream I was back at school and ended up arguing with the teachers about art. I believe I'm being rejected because I'm just invisible to the world and I'm just not fitting in. I don't seem to be living life like everyone else does and cant offer a women anything other than love and the company of an interesting man. Being creative is the greatest gift but also being original makes me lonely.