Back from the darkness


Well I have decided to start writing again now and now its going to be more in depth about whats going on in my life. I want to talk about my odd and unusual inner mind, my experience's all sorts really. So what do I have to talk about, loads of things I'm going to write a fucking books worth so that all u freaks can feel easy that you are most likely insane to even read it.


I had some alcoholic beverage some months back and it really altered my clarity, only now are colours starting to be absorbed by my eyes again. It's a strange feeling when you walking along and the sparkles of colour start to make sense again. I believe that alcohol is a real poison to the mind, I am sure that its constitutes to the slow progress of the human evolution. Ok most artists on the past have enjoyed drinking mass quantities of alc drinks but I think that was to course some kind of altered mental state which repressed happiness thus equaling to the urge to create a better personal existence. Anyway hopefully in a weeks time I can paint again because I personally prefer to have a pure and clear mind allowing for much more vivid visions. I have also decided that I will soon be exploring oil painting in the near future.


Tessa is my new online friend and she has helped me invoke my artistic thirsts again. She is a deep lady who I can really relate to and chat with about all my problems. She as been a godsend to me which I have needed, I have started up a chat site and feel very encourage by her kind words. Here's to you Tessa.


My old friend Catherin as become more of a problem to me as I feel that she as been a bad influence on me. I feel that she is lost in some form of madness that she is unaware of and I don't care really for how she would take what I am writing. I also feel that she is a artist wannabe in many way's and lives in the shadows of knowl
edge from her academic and educated mind that lives in self. Even her art is murky and lacks any real vision only that of her need for love and physical pleasure. I can't even pity her any more and am tired of trying to encourage her to develop. She as lied to me saying that she wasn't competitive but I have seen her envy at me and afterwards the bitterness consumed her to retreat from art. She is a dreamer but with such bleak vision. I do not to go near her anymore as she is negative omen.


I am currently working on a piece of art that I can't seem to stop thinking about, well I am not working on it at the moment because of that shite drink I had but anyway. Its going to be a fusion of comic illustration with some interesting and raw painting techniques. I want to mix together some outrageous violence with horror together with a kind of giger look. Dark and sinister with some added bloody aesthetics. I will most probably add some strong abusive language to the painting as well. So far I have a giant gay creature standing in a pool of blood surrounded by dead body parts and limbs. Nice stuff hey. Should I care of course fucking not.

The Club Demons Painting

This painting represents so much to me, its a kind of mental vision that relates to my own experiences at going out to various bars and clubs. Feelings and emotions of despair, discontent ect. I feel that through the consumption of alcohol a kind of mental kaos erupts into men and women. I only look down at this behaviour like when we all see the police clips of drunks being arrested after fights and brawls. I have myself been involved in this kind of drunken behaviour and it gives me sickening flashbacks of uncontrolled behaviour and primitive experience's. It also portrays how men compete like animals to safe guard there sexually tagged women and at the same time disrespecting women while they are intoxicated to take control and exploit their condition. I could go on but that's it for now. more stuff soon I hope depends on my mood.